7:30 PM
“Dear Billy, Tony, and Becky,
Well, it’s day one of CV (CoronaVirus) Isolation and just wanted to let you know the dog and I are fine. We went for a walk and said hi to the neighbors and a few strangers in the neighborhood, even though the strangers looked a bit suspect. They were wearing masks, kind of like the bad guys in westerns. But I figured they probably were probably OK – just weren’t that good-looking and knew it. You know how I feel about the less – attractive. I let the dog growl at them though, just in case they were bad guys.”
Dad”
**********
8:01 PM
Billy: “Hey Dad! They were wearing face masks to protect from the coronavirus.”
8:02 PM
Becky: “Do you have a face mask? You should.”
8:03 PM
Tony: “Let’s text instead of emailing. It’s quicker.”
******
8:10 PM
“Dear Billy, Tony, and Becky,
No I don’t have a face mask. Maybe I’ll get an eye mask, like the Lone Ranger. And no I won’t text. I’d rather type with my fingers than with my thumbs the way you guys do. When I try to text, ‘I’m all thumbs!’ Dad”
********
8:15 PM
Billy: ‘Ok, That was a Dad joke. “
8:16 PM
Becky: “I laughed, Dad.”
8:17 PM
Tony: “You laugh at all his jokes, Becky. It’s a family embarrassment.”
***********
8:20 PM:
“Dear Billy, Tony, and Becky,
OK. No more Dad jokes. Anyway, I walked by Sally, my neighbor, the other day. She had broken the rules of isolation and was talking to another neighbor. But they were only 4 feet apart.
I called the cops.”
*******
8:21 PM
Tony: “What?!”
8:21 PM
Billy: “What?!”
8:21 PM
Becky: “What?!”
**********
8:22 PM
“Dear Billy, Tony, and Becky,
Just kidding.”
*******
8:23 PM
Billy: “Hey! That was another Dad joke!”
8:24 PM
Tony: “Yeah!”
8:24 PM
Becky: “Good one, Dad!”
***********
8:25 PM
“Dear Billy, Tony, and Becky,
Thanks, Becky. I’m putting you in my will.
They were talking politics! Did you know Sally actually likes Trump! I had no idea! Sure she wears a MAGA sweatshirt, but she told me it was just to get along with all the stupid Trump fans in the neighborhood. It’s not. She actually likes that idiot! ”
**********
8:45 PM
Becky: “Are you wearing a real face mask when you go out, Dad? Hope so.”
8:46 PM
Tony: “As you always said, ‘there’s more to life than politics’, Dad.”
8:47 PM
Billy: “I sent 3 face masks to you the other day, Dad.”
*********
8:49 PM
“Dear Billy, Tony, and Becky,
OK, you’re in my will now, too, Billy. How are you guys dealing with this isolation?”
*********
9:00 PM
Billy: “I’m thinking of taking a shower this week.”
9:01 PM
Tony: “I saw a great looking girl across the street the other morning. I waved at her and guess what? She waved back! So, I went back to the same spot at the same time for the next three days. Zilch. ”
9:05 PM
Becky: “Must have been the way you waved. You never did wave well. It’s a family embarrassment.”
**********
9:10 PM
“Dear Tony, Billy, and Becky,
I’ve been watching a lot of TV shows I never saw when you were kids, because we let you kids control the TV. I think MASH is going to be a real ratings hit.”
*********
9:11 PM
Billy: “We can’t stop him. He is a pandemic of bad jokes.”
9:12 PM
Tony: “He means well. Just pretend you’re laughing.”
9:13 PM
Becky: “Well I AM laughing. I think he is funny.”
*********
9:30 PM
“Dear Tony, Billy, and Becky,
Well, this has been fun, but the dog needs to go out and if I don’t go with him, I’ll have to clean Sally’s lawn. So ’til next time…”
*********
9:31 PM
Billy: “Hey I have an idea. Let’s do a zoom meeting tomorrow. The four of us.”
9:32 PM
Becky: “Absolutely. I’m down with that.”
***********
9:33 PM
“Dear Tony, Billy, and Becky,
What’s zoom? If it’s anything like texting, I’m out.”
9:34 PM
Tony: “Zoom! No way! That’s all I do all day at work. I’m out too, Dad. I have an idea. Let’s have a 4 way phone call.”
9:35 PM
“Dear Tony, Billy, and Becky,
OK Tony. You’re in my will.”